September 13 is R U OK? Day, a national day of action that encourages us to check in with the people in our lives and ask in a meaningful way whether there’s anything they’re struggling with.
Around this time each year, you may notice your social media feeds cluttered with posts from well-meaning people letting their friends know they’re always happy to lend a listening ear. ‘Just reach out if you need me,’ is the common refrain.
But there’s the problem: it’s often the people who most need to talk that are the least likely to say so. The stigma around mental health and asking for help means many people feel simply unable to seek support when they need it most.
R U OK? Day reminds us that it’s not enough to simply tell the people we care about that they can talk to us. We need to make the effort to talk to them; to ask what’s happening in their lives and really listen to the replies.
If somebody close to you might not feel comfortable sharing their struggles, imagine how hard it can be for a person without family, friends, colleagues or a social network to speak up and say, ‘No, I’m not okay’.
Where do you turn when you feel like you’re utterly alone?
This is the awful reality facing many people experiencing homelessness. For some, seeking help from other people when they need it most can be literally impossible. They may not know how or where to access to the agencies and services that can assist. Where do you turn when you feel like you’re utterly alone?
That’s why the bond between people experiencing homelessness and their pets is so important. Their pets are a lifeline, a comforting presence, a constant in a world that seems mercurial and indifferent.
A loving relationship with a pet makes all of us feel better when life gets tough, but for somebody experiencing homelessness it can make all the difference.
For somebody like Andy, a loyal pet can be the difference between life and death.
THIS DOG SAVES MY LIFE ON A DAILY BASIS
For a long time, Andy didn’t have a job or a permanent place to call home. He’s battled heroin and crack addiction for decades and has served multiple prison sentences. Andy is no stranger to homeless shelters and has often slept rough on the streets of London.
Andy has long been estranged from his family. He has contemplated taking his own life.
‘When you’re homeless it can be a pretty unforgiving world,’ Andy told the UK’s Channel 4 News. ‘When you’re stood there, hungry, and no one’s noticing you – just walking by as if you don’t count – in your mind it convinces you that you are worthless.’
But while Andy’s situation may seem bleak, he has something that never fails to make him smile: his dog, Bailey.
Andy bought Bailey from another homeless person when the frightened pup was just four weeks old. His previous owner had drugged Bailey with valium to stop him crying for his mother. Andy says he weaned Bailey off the sedatives, while at the same time working to conquer his own drug dependency.
More than anything it’s company – having another heartbeat that’s on your side.
At his lowest point, Andy contemplated suicide. Only concern for what would happen to his beloved best mate stopped him from taking his own life.
His bond with his canine companion has profoundly changed his life. Since he’s had Bailey by his side, Andy says he hasn’t used hard drugs. They’re now off the streets and living in temporary accommodation.
‘It gives me a role. It might even be a tiny role, but it’s a purpose. It’s a purpose to get up and behave. It’s that extra incentive to do good,’ he explains. ‘More than anything it’s company – having another heartbeat that’s on your side. This dog saves my life on a daily basis.’
Bailey means more to Andy than anything else. They understand each other. In a world that often feels indifferent, or worse, openly hostile, Bailey never judges Andy. Their love for one another is unconditional.
‘There is communication there – it may not be words, but it’s there,’ says Andy. ‘Through him I’ve learnt how to give love, (and) more importantly, how to receive it.’
A CONVERSATION COULD CHANGE A LIFE
Statistics show that more than half of us often think about asking someone close to us how they’re doing, but don’t actually follow through and do it.
So this R U OK? Day, let’s make the minority of people who do ask into the majority. Don’t just post a message on social media, then sit back and wait for someone to reach out. Actually ask somebody in your life if there’s anything they want to talk about. Listen to what they tell you, and be prepared to help them access additional support or resources if they need to.
Even better, ask somebody experiencing homelessness how they’re doing. Spend five minutes chatting with them. And don’t forget to pat their dog.
Ask somebody experiencing homelessness how they’re doing
Written by Laura Greaves
If you or someone you know is in need of mental health support or resources, contact:
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636
Kids Helpline (ages 5-25): 1800 55 1800
No comments yet.